Should your Parents Stop Driving?
Nobody enjoys having to give bad news. Being informed you should stop driving is the worst kind of news for a senior parent.
However, it is sometimes required. You can’t stand by and do anything if your parent’s driving skills have deteriorated to the point where they are endangering themselves and other road users. We understand how tough it might be to talk to your aging parents about giving up driving when the time comes.
For many seniors, giving up their driver’s license means giving up their ability to get out of the house, interact with friends, run to the store, and do other things. It also entails relying on others for transportation, contributing to many elderly parents’ fears of “being a burden.”
In fact, a survey conducted by Pfizer and Generations United found more people said the most challenging conversation they had with their parents was not their finances, final wishes, or wills. It was about driving.
It’s time to stop driving.
A driver’s age alone does not make them dangerous. Medical issues and physical and cognitive abilities all play a role in determining when it’s time to hand up the keys. Going on a ride and observing their abilities is an essential first step in determining the right moment.
Make a mental note of any bad driving habits you have and write them down when you’re alone. Sharing specific issues rather than speaking in generalities can be an essential component of the discussion.
According to the AARP, there are several warning signs to look that indicate that your parents should stop driving. Those signs include:
- Driving too fast or too slow for road conditions
- Frequent dings, dents, and scrapes on the vehicle
- Delayed response to unexpected situations
- Getting lost, especially in familiar locations
- Becoming easily distracted or difficulty concentrating
- Having difficulty moving into or maintaining the correct lane of traffic
- Hitting curbs when making right turns or backing up
- Having frequent close calls
4 Tips on How to Start the Conversation About Stop Driving
- Start talking about it early
Don’t put it off until something serious occurs. Begin with small steps when the warning signs are minimal. Encourage them to avoid driving long distances, at night, during rush hour, or in inclement weather. If they begin driving part-time now and learn how to move around without a car, it will be much simpler for them to give up driving altogether when the time comes. - Be understanding
Giving up one’s freedom to drive is a drastic alteration in one’s lifestyle. Put yourself in your parent’s shoes and maintain a relaxed demeanor. Recognize that it is difficult and approach the matter with respect. Maintain calm and control your emotions if you’re greeted with annoyance, hostility, or denial. Understanding and compassion will go a long way in demonstrating to your parents that you are concerned about their safety. - Talk With Your Family
Before you speak with your aging parent about driving, make sure you consult with family members and close friends. If everyone agrees, you might be able to persuade your parents to hand over the keys.
However, do not have a conversation with your parents during a family meeting. It may make them feel as if everyone is ganging up on them, leading to conflict. Instead, start the conversation yourself or invite a trustworthy family member or friend who knows them well to have a one-on-one dialogue with them.
- Explain the risks
If you’re having trouble persuading your parent, bring up the potential consequences of their decision. For example, inquire if they are confident in their ability to properly transport their grandchildren about town. They may be prepared to put their own safety at risk, but the prospect of their grandchildren being wounded may bring them back to reality. If they get into an accident and damage someone else’s property or injure someone, they could face a lawsuit and huge fines.
It’s never easy to talk to aging parents about their driving habits. Still, with some preparation and understanding, “the talk” can be a success. You’ll feel better knowing that your loved one’s safety has been addressed.
If driving becomes a concern, consider living at an assisted living community like Silver Palms. Our residents enjoy their independence while receiving assisted when needed.